CHAPTER 4: REVIVAL: The Reinvention of Self

 

I don’t know when it happened

An awakening of sort

Maybe within a dream

A collage of scattered thoughts brought together to form a perfect picture

I have struggled with my mind

Trying to distinguish my wants from my needs

Like a rollercoaster

An endless series of ups and downs

Fearing the big drop

A pit inside my stomach so overwhelming

Shaken at the thought of the unknown

Yet we trust everyday we will wake to repeat the cycle

This day was different

Going about in my usual fashion

Something about this moment struck me as a bit odd

There were no sounds

No movement

Not even a single song from the birds

Pure silence

A rush of peace overcame my body

A warmth I can only compare to as a mothers warm embrace

Emotions flooded my senses

Falling to my knees in shambles

I began to cry

Uncontrollably

Uncensored

A continuous flow

Endlessly it seemed

Until not a drop remained

Refreshed

I smiled a great smile that could rival the Sun

The pain, joy and stress of many ancestors was relinquished in the flood

My body lifted from underneath me as if I were a feather

Floating through time

The smallest of molecules breathed the greatest life into my soul

I was one with the Universe

Since birth I have carried a deep burden within

Sorrow was as normal as laughter

Burdens from previous lives

Numbing my emotions

I would give anything just to feel

Ripping through flesh with the sharpest of blades just to feel

The rush it gave was better than the numb

As time went on there were new ways to feel

LOVE

It would always be an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement

But in its usual fashion

The numb would take over

Sorrow reigned supreme

What was I missing?

How would I overcome this damage?

Only a look within would tell

I would release myself to a higher purpose

To let love overshadow all

The day I shed my skin

Pure silence seemed so loud

I could hear my heartbeat

Pounding steadily

A burst of light flooded my senses

I was reborn

As I gazed upon my reflection in a frozen creek

Light shone brilliantly all around me

I understood that the Divine presence was with me where I stood

I was not alone

Love was my sitting emotion

An awakening of sort

Felt through every moment

My Power

My Light

Here within I give myself to the higher purpose of Love and Light

My Destiny

My Divine Right

To love other is to love yourself

Uncensored and Unconditionally

My Reinvention of Self

On Letting Go: Lessons on Letting Go to Grow Out now on Amazon